10+ ways to make Japanese friends.
Posted by: kirin on 
Aug 5th, 2009 | 
Filed under: Uncategorized
I recieved messages from my blog readers and they wonder if there is a good way to make Japanese friends. There are several ways but things are different whether you live in Japan or not.
First, for those who live in Japan and look for Japanese friends, hopefully to exchange language and culture, how about checking out following sites or events? Or you could stay at shared accommodation with Japanese people.
1.Metropolis
2.Tokyo Notice Board
3.eme
4.Tokyo International Friendship
5.Tokyo Friends
6.Vibe Tokyo
7.Hiragana Times
8.Military Friends Board
9.Sakura House
10.Borderless House
11.Sharese.com
And there should be several other ways.
Then, how about for those who live outside Japan but want to make friends with Japanese girls or guys living in Japan? There will be limited resorces, compared with above.
1.WorldFriends (as you might know already)
2.Japan Forum
3.Japan Forum dot com
4.English diaries at Blog Mura written by the Japanese
5.Other languages at Blog Mura
6.Multilingual Network
7.My Language Exchange dot com
8.Be a friend of Kirin! 
or find other Japanese bloggers who are interested in you, your country or your language.
Do you come up with any other ways?
Let me tell you how Japanese people are basically. We are very shy and most of us cannot even look straight to your eyes when we speak to you. (I’m talking about things in general) We are very shy and that’s why we care too much about making mistakes, which is the main reason why most of Japanese people cannot speak English well in spite of over 10 years of studying it at school. Our culture likes ambiguity and it is regarded good in Japan to be somewhere between yes and no. (I have hard time fitting myself in it, though) Many of us cannot get rid of this Japanese culture even when we communicate with non-Japanese people. It is said Japanese common sense is not the common sense of the world, which is true in a sense. Anyway please remember most of Japanese people are very shy! (No wonder Facebook is not popular!?) If you’ve ever tried to make Japanese friends but didn’t work out, that maybe related to this cultural difference, because many Japanese love to make foreign friends, indeed!
Tags: Japanese friends
August 5th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I didn't know that Japanese people are so shy. I'm a little shy, but mostly with boys, haha. ^^; I think it'd be really cool to be penpals with people from Japan, so I'll probably try one of those sites! (Awe, Kirin! Let's be friends.
)
August 6th, 2009 at 1:24 am
I am very happy if I could make friends with people through this blog. That's one of the main reasons I am doing this.
Thank you Miss Ia for your frequent comments to my blog. I enjoy exchanging comments with you.
August 6th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Same here.
August 7th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Although i have heard the Japanese are very shy in general, i never actually heard it from a Japanese person. I have a shy personality but everyday i am growing out of it because where i live people are not very sympathetic about it. That really makes me think about why it would take a great effort for my japanese classmates to participate in our group assignments. I wouldn't mind looking for a penpal, i did not know people still did these things when we have instant messenger ~_~.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Ah, no eye contact
. I always used to do that ( not making eye contact when talking to people ). It's considered not very polite here, because when you talk to somebody and never look into the eyes from time to time, it makes you look as if you're thinking about other things.
)
So I"ve had to work hard to keep making eye-contact during conversation :S because my job required I talk to customers and have plenty of meetings.
Especially when listening to somebody, you're supposed to keep eye contact .
So I'll have to untrain myself when visiting Japan ^_^
Thank you for the links. As soon as I have more free time, I'll look into them (which will probably be in my next life or the one after that
August 8th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
This is only my opinion but we (Japanese people) are actually very good at writing, reading and grammar (I'm speaking of English) but very poor at listening and speaking. That's why we feel more relaxed or safer with email communication. I can feel it very well. I feel that writing a blog post is much easier than speaking to the Youtube video. :p
August 8th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I am fine with eye contact by now, but I still remember this very clearly when my Mexican friends asked me why I didn't look at their eyes when we talked, which was when I was 20 years old and when I learned English at a college in the U.S.
It was very shocking to me because I didn't realize that until pointed out. I do appreciate him at that time. So when you are in Japan and you cannot get eye contact from some Japanese people who speak to you, never mind too much about that. It doesn't mean they are day dreaming or trying to cheat you. XD
August 9th, 2009 at 4:57 am
I’ve always been fond of Japan and it’s culture. I never knew that Japanese are shy. In my culture, looking one in the eye seem more like a disrespect or arrogance. Not sure if this is a general part of our Asian culture but I love to look at someones eyes when speaking to someone- so I guess, I don’t have that problem. I love meeting new Japanese friends and I’m glad to find you! Konnichiwa!
Maricris
http://zenforyou.dalefg.net
August 10th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Yes, I noticed that it was quite difficult to make friend with Japanese people, unless you come and talk with them, but yet, it doesn’t mean they see you as a friend. I also came to learn that when they tell you see you later on or I’ll see you again doesn’t necessarily mean they will indeed see you again soon, it’s just a kind of politeness, but yet I love Japan and its people!
August 10th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Konnichiwa, Im also very keen of knowing a few japanese friends
. Currently Im taking japanese language Lvl 4 for beginner. Hopefully can pass JLPT, and I can visit Japan next year. The te-form and those sentence structures are sometime very complicating, one of my coursemate said “No wonder japanese don’t have time to learn other language” 
August 10th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I have a few Asian friends and found that they were all very different when it came to cultural things like making friends. My Thai friend Lek was shy at first but once we got to know each other (over about a year) she became very warm and friendly. My Chinese friends have lived here in the US a long time but it took a while to get to know them too but they are warm, affectionate and outgoing, much more so than many other Asian cultures. I don't know what they would be like in China for instance but many of their friends come to this country and adapt quickly.
Kirin you are my first Japanese friend which really excites me because I love Japan and Japanese culture so much and Japanese people. Being Buddhist I identify with many Japanese ways (since Buddhism is such a part of the history of Japan) and I have read much about Japan and its culture and studied Zen Buddhism for many years.
I think I might frighten some people because I am not reserved, I am boisterous, funny, warm, affectionate and silly. I don't have a shy bone in my body though I used to when I was a child. Now I am outgoing so I might be shocking to the Japanese. Hopefully someday I will find out since it is my dream to go to Japan.
I will need a whole bunch of money though because I will buy so many kawaii things that I will need a freighter to get them home!
August 11th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Thank you for your comment. I am now OK about looking at someone's eyes directly when I speak to him or her, but as you say, this might be related to some Asian things, too. Thank you for your interesting comment.
August 11th, 2009 at 10:12 am
As a Japanese, I like my Japanese friends a lot. I really like Japanese people in a way. Most of us would not hug or kiss between friends, which is totally different from Western culture, but it doesn't mean we are unfriendly. We just do not express love or friendship as much as American people for example, but we express them by subtle way, and we understand that each other. But this may not be understood by Western people easily.
When I was in the U.S, I was surprised how people expressed their feelings by apparent ways. They say "I love you." or "I miss you." very frequently but it doesn't always mean they really meant as much as the word sounded. So many people never wrote to me even though they said "I'll write to you, I love you!" And I thought they should not say that if they didn't mean that seriously. But I still enjoy communication with any nationalities. :p
August 11th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Hi PenCapChew, thank you for your comment here!
Ah, you learn Japanese! You may see how different Japanese and other European languages. I think that's the reason we have hard time learning other languages. I don't think we are just lazy and never try to learn other languages.
On the contrary, we are working very hard to be able to speak and understand English, but there should be something, some obstacle there. Otherwise, it's just a mystery to me, too why even now most of Japanese people suffer from English after 10 or 20 years study from grade school…:( (Of course I was one of them until I went to the U.S college. :p)
August 12th, 2009 at 12:06 am
Hi kirin, I think your english is good…And Im actually living in Malaysia. People here who went to school from primary 1-6 years, at least speak 2 languages (Malay/English) and one mother tongue. We're not encourage to speak mother tongue in school. How long have you stay in US?
My longest period staying outside from my country is 4 months when I was taking my Degree in Liverpool. Visited Wales, Stonehenge, London and Amsterdam. Amsterdam is also a very nice and liberal place, it was like "World Inside Europe", you can almost find every single race there. Miss it so much but now, no $$ im broke.
August 12th, 2009 at 2:00 am
I've stayed in the U.S 1 year but I worked very hard during that period. (I went to a college in California and I was studying a lot.) I think I should have learned Chinese or Spanish or French more, besides English.
I learned Spanish in the U.S, too but I forgot most of it because I don't use it at all in Japan.
I'm going to Amsterdam for the first time in my life in this September!
I'm so excited to read your comment. What is your recommend?
August 12th, 2009 at 2:08 am
Thank you riotnikki. It's my hope and my pleasure if I can make friends from blogging.
Don't worry, not every Japanese is that shy. But as you point out there seems to be a big cultural difference between Western culture and Asian's.
As you are Buddhism, I agree that you fit in our culture. Many of us do not have specific religion, but I think Buddhism is behind our culture and we think of it even if we do not recognize or claim ourselves as Buddhism.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Hi kirin, I only spend 2 days over there, sightseeing most of the time and taking pictures of buildings. I stay in a budget hostel and can’t remember the name, something to do with “sport youth” im not sure. Actually, I rent a bicycle and it’s very convenient. I only visited Anne Frank House. If you need more information about attractions over there, I advise you to take a free pamphlet from the “Tour Bus” service (Im not using the service because I rent a bike
)…Sort of like a free map. 
Anyhow, seeing the people is enough to amaze you. I saw alot japanese tourists too….
PS: Please bring extra map just in case.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Sorry, the “Tour Bus” service was happen in London
…For Amsterdam, I got those infos from the hostel Im staying.
August 14th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Thank you for your advice.
It's going to be a fun trip over there… I've already bought a guidebook, booked a hotel (budget one, of course!) and I have to prepare for things to do there. Unlike most of other tourists, I am not very much interested in famous places, church, or buildings. I am a lot more iterested in LIFE that local people are leading. What they are eating? How are local super markets? What do they have? What kind of kawaii things they have? (important! XD) I also like to find some good local music in local language at a small local CD store. I like to spend days there as if I were living there. I would not go to a Japanese restaurant even if I miss it. :p
August 15th, 2009 at 1:09 am
i only have 1 japanese friend who regularly keep in touch w/ me via text message and instant messenger since around 2005. but he’s IN LOVE w/ indonesia and can speak the language fluently so we always communicate in indonesian, mostly discussing things about indonesian food, culture etc
haha so my japanese language and cultural knowledge is stuck to zero level *joking
whatever language they prefer (english/japanese/even indonesia) yet i enjoy making friends w/ japanese. they’re so excited about new things!
August 15th, 2009 at 3:14 am
They possibly eating alot pancakes because there are many cafe serving pancakes. They can put "weed" inside the pancakes too. Marijuana is illegal in malaysia. I only come across a street market selling colorful tulips, cactus carnivorous plants, flowers etc very nice…I didn't notice any super markets, mostly are retail shops. Check out the Hare Krishna hippies going around the street chanting their sutras too. For music store, I also didn't go…but I saw many Bob Marley and Van Gogh pictures. Kawaii thing should be the Dutch wooden shoes they called it clog. いって いらっしゃい。
^_^
August 15th, 2009 at 4:41 am
Oh that sounds cool.
I am interested in making international friends, too.
August 15th, 2009 at 5:06 am
ありがとうー。It's a little bit later from now. I'll be there around end of September. I'm scared about the drug thing, because it's illegal in Japan, too. I read that I should not go to "coffee shop" if I mean "cafe" because coffee shop is the place for drug users. (@_@) My biggest question is how I should do about blogging during my trip. I feel like reporing "kawaii from the world" but it maybe もったいない(wasting opportunity or time) if I spend a good time blogging even when I travel…:(
August 16th, 2009 at 3:19 am
Haha…yea, the "itte irasshai" should be use when someone is about to go out. Not so soon. And about blogging, I noticed most of the area is under WIFI coverage. So, even if your hostel doesn't provide any (which is very rare), maybe you can use the neighbour ones. And yes, you should spend some quality time over there instead of bloggin.
August 16th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Thank you so much for the info. about the WIFI. I will not spend as long hours as usually for blogging when I travel, but I want to update it sometimes, as well as check emails.
To be correct, "itte irasshai" (いって いらっしゃい) is pronounced or written as "itte rasshai"(いってらっしゃい).
It means go (行って) and come back (いらっしゃい) and this is used as you say to me, or every morning I say that to my hubby when he leaves home.
There is a thought called "Kotodama" in Japan, which means every word has a life in it.
Addressing to my hubby by "itterasshai" means that Kotodama start to act on him. It will protect him. ("Come back safe and sound")
In that way, it's not considered good to speak bad words or negative words.
November 11th, 2009 at 5:00 am
hi Kirin, just wondering if you have any Japanese friend looking for job in Malaysia?
November 12th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
No, not at a moment… sorry.
November 13th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
i like japanes sooo much .and i need 2 learn their langouge. i know few sentences.
November 14th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Oh you like Japanese people? I'd like to hear more from you. If you don't mind, please feel free to write your comment to this post:
http://tokyokawaiietc.com/archives/2995
June 19th, 2010 at 4:59 am
Hi. I am a Japanese man. I'm living in Singapore now. But here is Singapore, so I have only a few friends. Where do you guys live in now? To be honest I don't know about this Web site very much. Is this forum Singaporean?
June 19th, 2010 at 5:03 am
I'm Japanese and I'm living in Singapore now. I think most Japanese people can't speak English. So getting Japanese friends will be very difficult for you guys. I've never seen Japanese people who can speak English or Mandarin very well. They are monolingual. By the way, I came here to make Singaporean friends, is this site Singaporean?
June 19th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Well…first of all this is a blog written by a Japanese woman from Tokyo. It's nothing like a forum or Singaporean community. Indeed, there are many readers from Singapore, but basically readers of this blog are from around the globe.
As you point out, not many Japanese people are good at English, but it's also true that many of them are striving to improve it. I was also one of them. Many Japanese people are interested in improving English, who always try to find language exchange partners, penpals, and etc. Thus I wouldn't say it's difficult.
I made some nice Singaporean friends through this blog. Blogging could be a good way to you too, I guess…
July 1st, 2010 at 10:21 am
July 1st, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Thank you so much for my English. Not many Japanese people are good at speaking or listening in English, but we are better at writing and reading it. So, if you make Japanese friends, we may tend to prefer email communication than speaking on the phones or over skype etc. Good luck!
July 13th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
I’ve visited blogmura.. some of them is written in kanji or kana.., I can read kana alright but the only problem is I don’t know what it means haha..
looks like the easiest way to make Japanese friends right now is doing the number 8 from the 2nd list
cheers.. keep on posting, I’d love to read more about the culture in your country, Kirin san
July 14th, 2010 at 12:09 am
Haha! Thank you for your comment. It looks a bit hard to make friends with Japanese people because we are basically very shy and alert, besides not many of us speak English well. But you know what? Once you make friends with Japanese people, we are very sincere, considerate, and nice. It sounds creepy I praise our people like this, but that's why I like Japanese people.
I'm happy you find my blog interesting. Take Tokyo Kawaii TV for example, it looks like speaking about fashion and kawaii when you see it on the surface. But it actually shows our culture as well. For example, this episode (http://tokyokawaiietc.com/archives/4104) illustrates how our shop assistants value customer service.
July 23rd, 2010 at 10:19 am
wow ,it really buzz, Kirin
actually i am learnning japanese ,and i really in it ,although it’s hard to make me sounds like saying japanese sometimes ,but it doesn’t matter ,i will put myself on it .cuz i like it .
great to see yours insights .
July 23rd, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Thank you so much for your comment and all the best for your Japanese learning.
July 31st, 2010 at 12:00 am
seria muy cool sociavilizar con gente que vive en una cutura muy distinta a la de nosotros en lo
personal soy sociable . =) *w*
July 31st, 2010 at 1:41 am
Muchas gracias. Yo no puedo comprender espanol (es espanol?) muy bien, pero…se que nuestro cultura es muy diferente de vuestro… ^ ^; Espero que esto tiene sentido para tu. Estoy pensando estudiar espanol otra vez. ^ ^
July 31st, 2010 at 4:37 am
hey kirin, you see im an "otaku" from Philippines and i do spend my time watching anime or reading manga and i noticed that most character are so shy and i think its very "kawaii" xD so its true….in real life then in Japan. oh yeah im currently learning how to speak in Japanese..xD
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